Getting thrown in the slammer. Booked on lewd behavior. I can’t believe it happened to me.
I’m under constant risk of being gypped, seduced and physically assaulted. It’s rough. Enough to make my balls sweat. That’s why every third day or so I need a little R‘n’R. On this hard luck day the chiringuitos in Barceloneta were calling me. More specifically, a frosty jug of sangría.
Enjoying my first few drops, soaking in my first rays of Mediterranean sunshine I noticed him. This tourist who didn’t look quite right. Like Bill Gates in a Cash Converters, he didn’t belong.
It’s on account of this turncoat guiri that I’m in bad with the bulls. In the squirrel cage with gypmeisters and punks of the common variety.
…
I sported my casual threads. A flower print shirt I got on shore leave in Manila. That was many years and pounds ago. So it stretches a bit around the love handles. Don’t matter. It’s classy.
I was lounging in one of those aluminum things that passes for a seat. In a chiringuito. Despite my girth, the narrow and uncomfortable dingus, I was enjoying the early summer drone. The chicas on the boardwalk, in the sand. That poppy music they listen to. Invigorating. Youthful. I pulled on my Ducado, ordered my third pitcher of sangría. The smoke was green. The chicas were topless. The virulent underbelly of crime in a haze of spiked vino tinto.
I spotted a guiri about 30 feet in front of me. I mean, he was obvious. Red baseball cap looking like he bought it ten minutes earlier. Pilot’s shades. Sport jacket over white T. Lime-green shorts over spindly varicose legs. Of course, requisite camera. Some kind of tourist, I thought. Sheesh. I felt the urge to warn him about the dangerous criminal activity. The oblivious fool.
So I was thinking this tenderfoot might as well be wearing a sign that says TOURIST, MUCHO DINERO when I saw it. He was real nervous. Kept looking around. Like a little bird. A bird on acid more like.
***
Read the rest of this story in Larry Kovaks’ book, City of Crime, available now in print or in e-book format. You can also preview the book here.
There is also the case of pedophiles on making videos near the showers of Barceloneta. Thanks god they catch them!
I was topless sunbathing in Barceloneta in 2005 with a my girlfriend and she saw a creepy looking guy taking pictures, luckily just in time because she warned me and I was able to cover up! Next to us a guy went swimming and (stupidly) left his stuff on his towel, and when he came back it was all gone! he said he was watching it the whole time from the water, but you can never be sure.
I recently discovered your blog/website and have actually enjoyed reading this and some of the other posts. I thought I would dive out from the shadows and leave my first comment. I am not certain what to say other than I have enjoyed reading and will continue to visit as frequently as I can.
hola. como estas dejame confesarte que yo no me encontraba buscando nada acerca de este tema y es que la verdad a mi este tema no me gusta para nada, pero te felicito porque la manera en que escribiste me fascino. Por primera vez he encontrado contenido digno en la red. Un saludo.