VARIATIONS OF THE GYPMEISTER RAPTOR CON

The Raptor was a savage prehistoric beast that hunted in packs. Typically, the Raptor would send out a scout to distract the prey. The prey would wearily watch the scout Raptor. Meanwhile, his Raptor buddies would close in on the flanks. Then they pounced with deadly quickness.

This shameful technique is employed by gypmeisters throughout this burg. Atavistic impulse. Avarice. Downright deviousness. A gypmeister is a throwback to savage times. I’ve peeped them using the Raptor technique so many times I lost count. And, before you whine, “LOL Larry! If you see it all the time why don’t you just stop it!”, I’ll just say this: This burg is bursting with suckers and I can’t help them all. If it happens my immediate vicinity is a safer one, then I consider my job done.

What I’m about to describe are variations of the Gypmeister Raptor Con. They went down right before my unbelieving eyes. How birds fall for this is beyond me. Let these true stories serve as warnings to all tourists.

ATTRACTION AS A DISTRACION

This is one of the most cunning Raptor methods I have ever seen. I have yet to stop it in action. For it is as rare as it is brilliant.

I was fumigating my brains with a Ducado one night in the lower Ramblas. Outside a French bar called Pastis. This area is notorious for the high density of so-called chicas con sorpresa. Trannies in modern American parlance. What I saw was shocking.

A large whale of a tranny had planted himself in front of the bar. He was even fatter than me, and I’m a big guy. But it looked like he had two watermelons stuffed in the top of his dress. The damn things were so big they had their own gravitational field!

This young blonde kraut came tumbling out the bar, completely soused. When he regained his balance and looked ahead, he went slack-jawed. The tranny just in front of the bar was flashing his massive boobs and making lewd sucking noises with his mouth. The young kraut was momentarily stunned by the sight of this lard can with boobs. Taking advantage of the young kraut’s distraction, the tranny’s friends swarmed in from the sides and fleeced him but good. The trannies were off around the corner before the young kraut realized that they had ganked his wallet.

Back when I was sailing this mudball I saw a similar thing in Cartagena. Though not a Raptor Con, it is worth mentioning. Goodlooking dames would sashay along the avenues and approach fellows. They would bare their breasts to the fellows and allow them to lick them. The suckers, of course, were more than happy to lick their charms.

What they didn’t know was the dames had sprinkled their breasts with a powerful narcotic powder called Burundanga. Licking their charms would cause the suckers to fall into a stupor. The suckers woke up with their wallets, their cars, sometimes even their pants missing.

Fellows. Just remember one sure way to avoid the Attraction as a Distraction. A goodlooking dame needs to be wined and dined before you can even think of fooling around with her charms.

***

Read the rest of this story in Larry Kovaks’ book, City of Crime, available now in print or in e-book format. You can also preview the book here.y-of-crime/6148452″>e-book format. You can also preview the book here.

93 Responses to “VARIATIONS OF THE GYPMEISTER RAPTOR CON”


Leave a Reply